After Dimitri was off on his way, I sat down at the computer to check my neglected e-mails blogs and forums. I suddenly felt like I was having a panic attack. Where to start?? Really I shouldn't be starting at the computer at all, but 6.30am is an anti-social time to be getting the vacuum out to make a start on the 2wk, 24hr a day attack Dimitri has made on every room in the house. And that Play Doh probably isn't going to come out of the carpet anyway. And what about all those months of receipts that need sorting out for the tax forms??? Shopping? Ironing? Long list of appointments for various doctors and dentists?
I had been thinking to myself that after the 2wks of Dimitri being at home, the second week of which we were both sick and were pretty much stuck in the house, that I would be feeling a little more relaxed being able to do things at a casual pace today without having to do the "constant vigilance" thing.
The shocking revelation is that even though I never seem to be doing that much, is that there are always, always things that need doing. Bah humbug. And no matter what I'm doing it never seems to be enough, or rather, substantial, as in being able to say "hey I did/achieved this, that or the other today". It's all a bit, well, flimsy really, especially as other people do this stuff and work (paid work that is).
Conclusion -I find being a SAHM difficult (you have no idea how long it was before I realised SAHM was an acronym for stay at home mum). May be I should blame society for undermining the role of mothers.
Whilst me and my buddy (who was increasingly becoming something of a despot over the vacation) were glued together making things out of play doh etc, I was thinking to myself that "I really need to do something this year". Which is exactly what I thought last year. And the year before that and the ye... et cetera and so forth. Double bah humbug.
I need to say something about Dimitri being a "despot" but will save it for another day, today I'm doing the "me" thing.
A taste of Christmas in pictures:
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| slacking about on the sofa |
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| inclusion of table and chair for Barbara and Dimitris PT ;) |
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| the Christmas tree which remained upright for the duration of the holidays |
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| the dreaded play doh |
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| tips for removing ply doh from carpet welcomed |
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| electrical circuit toy for Christmas |
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| lasted 10days before Dimitri (who was moving things all over the house) sat on it |
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| bah humbug |
8 comments:
Oh, welcome back. I know the feeling all too well -- just keep plodding along --
Aw. Thanks for the mention! My 'feelings'post Christmas are much the same. (Do NOT ask if my tree is still up.) A tree that remains upright is something to feel good about, I think. Despite the playdough in the carpet - Dimitri seems to have done well - something I'm sure you find comforting when you think about it.
Wishing us both more effective recovery in this New Year. Barbara
Well, that electric toy thing looks interesting!
If a SAHM is a stay at home mom, then I was one until my baby went to Kindergarten (I have three boys and one girl). I have no regrets. I felt blessed to raise my own children.
Glad you are back!
Charlie tends to have his 'despotic' moments. Mostly for rides in the car of late. Though perhaps it is 'payback' for when he was younger and we called all the shots J.
Hope you are both better!
And, I try to avoid anything that needs regular ironing. I never get to it!
Elizabeth - plod plod plod (I like the word plod:))
TherExtras - post Christmas ponderings maybe - who am I and what am I doing here?
Dimitri did very well considering we were limited to the house a lot.
dluvscoke - the toy is quite good, Dimitri really liked it, I may have to replace it.
I loved being able to care for Dimitri full time when he was younger, no regrets at all, but I did think I would return to work at some point. Dimitri is now 10 and at school during the day, it seems hard to quantify what I actually "do". I need to feel "useful" or whatever, not sure if that is from society or general human nature. I'm sure plenty of mums who have to work would think I'm lucky.
Enjoying your blog by the way!
kristina - if I drove I'm sure Dimitri would be the same about the car!
I think that it must be partly from having little control over what goes on. Also thinking about "kinship theory" and Angelman syndrome (it's full of assumptions but still). quote:
"...Angelman syndrome (AS), will result in a behavioural phenotype that should evidence behaviours that increase access to maternally provided social resources (adult contact)."
I remember a parent asking Prof C Oliver if Angelman syndrome was "the opposite" of autism in relation to social behaviour because of this(which assumes people with autism aren't social).
Dimitri's behaviour has changed over the years to become more despotic/social, he wasn't always so. Got me wondering...
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